Finally, it's August 29th, the day of school.
Unconsciously, the long summer vacation has come to an end with the sound of cicadas. The two months and ten days of holiday seemed to have passed without doing much. The self-study of artificial intelligence, calculus, and linear algebra that was planned at the end of June ultimately ended up as mere wishful thinking, with only a few pages of hastily written equation drafts remaining.
But the summer vacation was not just about indulging in games and takeout.
At the beginning of the vacation, despite the looming deadline, I had an unusually diligent burst. I self-studied WPF technology for more than ten days and, together with my classmates, completed the design and implementation of an entire application. Looking back, this can be considered the first program I have truly completed in my life, although it is not perfect. The high-intensity coding for ten hours a day taught me the architectural thinking of MVVM and gradually familiarized me with the use of Visual Studio, which many people consider the world's number one IDE.
After completing this application, I entered a long period of slacking off. It wasn't until August that I thought I should find something to do for myself, more or less. So I created PKU Art v2, an external teaching website style that took me a week to write 11,591 lines of code. During this period, I found the joy of slowly piecing together my ideal work, even though it was purely monkey coding. But it was something that made me feel mentally and physically satisfied.
After that, satisfied with what I had accomplished, I gradually became addicted to games and Bilibili. I no longer wrote code every day, neglected the books, and put my studies aside. I acted purely to satisfy myself, in other words, I became a captive of dopamine.
Although looking back, this period of time seems somewhat absurd, the fundamental reason is nothing more than escapism: I am avoiding difficult learning, avoiding boring coding, and avoiding the complex affairs that I will face when school starts.
Avoidance is shameful, but it is useful.
Avoidance is shameful because it is useless.
In the midst of wavering thoughts, rationality gradually diminishes. Distant dreams ultimately give way to the joy of reality.
I never regret my past choices, but as I look back at my fluctuating game records and the extensive history on Bilibili, I can't help but sigh.
Since I have come this far, it's time to pack up and prepare for the next journey.
Medicine and computer science, my future, may be unknown, but it can be anticipated.
May I become a person like Ai Haibara.
2022.08.29 06:04:51